Expand in 2020

I just had my birthday and, as I usually do, I asked the Lord for my theme for this coming year. Some years I've had trouble hearing my theme verse and it's even been as late as January before I hear. But this year, I knew before my birthday just what He was going to say. This is the year. It's time to EXPAND.

Isaiah 54:2 says Enlarge the place of your tent, stretch your tent curtains wide, do not hold back; lengthen your cords, strengthen your stakes. For you will spread out to the right and to the left...
And that is exactly what is happening! From a new job that stretches my brain every day (sometimes in a good way, sometimes in a way that hurts) to parenting a daughter who is growing and changing faster than I can even describe, to a new and budding relationship with a lovely man. It's all change, and it's all growth.

Expansion can sometimes mean pain, but in this case it is opening instead. God gave me an image of the fabric of a tent. When you stretch fabric or weave it more loosely, it is more open and easier to see the light through it. In the case of knitting, using larger needles means a more open stitch that is faster to knit, but not as dense and that serves a different purpose. Both are good. It just depends what you want. As far as I'm concerned, it is Time to be free of huddling, pouring myself out in responsibility for others, and not living my own life. It is Time that I started to step out more in God and find my voice. I have a voice. I need to use it.

Being in a place of expansion can mean discomfort, and that is definitely true. At times, I feel like a teenager again as I navigate feelings and thoughts I haven't had in many years towards a man. The mystery of things unspoken and maybe unacknowledged leads to uncertainty too. My friends who have walked with me for some time are enjoying the joy and delight as much as me I think. But I am also learning about the value of being in my own process, and not being rushed by what seems right to others. Just recently God reminded me to hold on and be in the place of discomfort because both of us in the relationship need to be aligned before we move into the next stage. Being in the now moment is the place I must stay, and if I really think about it, it's a good place to be. Why rush?

God wants me to expand, to allow the stretch. But that doesn't mean I have to rush. In childbirth, rushing delivery leads to painful tearing and trauma to both mother and child. There has been enough trauma. So slowly seems a sensible way to go forward.

2020 is a year of expansion, and accelerated change, but not a year of ripping, tearing and exploding.