Where did you get to?

This is a challenging time of year for me. Work is unbelievably busy (I work in education, and our school year just started in September). My daughter has just started back to her routine as well after a long summer break. Now, this is the season of anniversaries, birthdays and special occasions.

So, keeping my head above water is my goal. Yes I am doing so much "better". I am functioning at work. So much so, that more tasks have recently been allocated to me that I am feeling quite overwhelmed with. When I am overwhelmed, I usually spin in a panicked sort of way.

Yet, for some reason, I am strangely calm.

My friend said, you are so tired you don't have enough energy to work yourself up. God said, do what you can and don't worry about what you can't. Above all, don't try to be superhuman.

This blog has been one of the things I am not getting to. Ironically, I am taking a social media course, and it is very clear that blogs become stale and lose readers if they are not regularly updated.

I know there must be someone reading this who finds it encouraging. At least, I hope so! But I also hope that the words I share here, when I can, will still be of use and help to someone.

Is it normal to look at myself and think: where did I get to?

I used to have something to say about marriage (truthfully, I still do). But now I don't have the blessing of experiencing it first hand. I'm not working out that day to day life which sharpens and rubs off the rough patches. I am so grateful for my marriage. I wasn't ready for it to end, but it did.

My passions have all been thrown up in the air. We shall see where they land. Meanwhile I am looking for the pieces of my life to try to pull together something that fits. God has been reminding me to leave the pieces in His hands. It is not my job to create out of broken pieces of life. That is God's work. My job is to live in Now, to keep walking this road, to surrender to the painful and the reality I don't want because God is turning it into something good. For my good. He is working it together for my good.

I just had a picture of a lump of clay on one of those turntables used for throwing pots. It turns, He works it and a shape comes into being.

I keep wanting it to move faster, but it takes the time it takes. Even the delay in my daughter's adoption can work for good. If there had not been a delay, perhaps we would not have seen the progress made in the regular visits she has with her sister. Still. The delay has been unnecessary, but somehow God will work (and is now working) to make this good in some way.

God the Redeemer is at work, always.

His timing is never off. Though it delay, wait for it.

For the revelation awaits an appointed time; it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it linger, wait for it; it will certainly come and will not delay. (Habakkuk 2:3 NIVUK)