Earlier this year, I decided to go through my husband's clothes. It was an emotional time, but I was ready when I did it. The same week we had a flood in our basement. About an inch of water came up in a few spots and I had to lift carpets, move boxes that were sitting in water and try to clean everything. As a result, I ended up going through a few shelves of papers and reorganized cupboards I hadn't planned on looking at.
There was such mental exhaustion in doing that, but it actually felt good to look around and see that things were organized, some of the junk removed and clutter taken out.
I live in a small house, and it doesn't take much work to get it messy. I'm not a clean freak either. I can live with some mess. However, there is something about mess and chaos that adds stress. I read that somewhere (probably one of those organizing books I read when I was feeling like I wanted to make myself guilty about housekeeping failure).
A couple of days ago, God gave me the term "mental de-clutter". I had been dealing with the return of anxiety and anger. I was unsettled in myself. I felt exhausted and over-taxed. Emotions were building up.
Imagine a shelf in your mind. Things are on it, covered in dust and piled all higgledy piggledy. There is a degree of order in thoughts, patterns and habits form. But we can hold on to things out of sentimentality or familiarity. There can be security in "having stuff". At the same time, it may be healthier just to let it go.
The organization experts suggest sorting stuff into piles: throw out, give away (to charity or someone else), recycle, move somewhere else, keep. Mentally, this is a slower process, but it should be the same idea.
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed. 1 Peter 1:13 (Note: this verse was translated differently in the more recent NIV, but I like the concept of "prepare your minds for action").
Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation now that you have tasted that the Lord is good. 1 Peter 2:1-3
What thoughts are clutter in my mind? Is it the old ideas, the old ways of thinking that don't work for me anymore? Or, is it new thoughts that follow me?
For me, guilt is a huge piece of clutter in my mind. In some cases, it actually crowds my thinking to the point that I can't identify the real issue until I've physically cleared the "busy work" that guilt created. In some situations I am so cluttered in my thoughts that I can't stop my agitation and anxiety from rising. The image of de-cluttering is extremely helpful to me, but I have no idea how to do it.
Here is an example from last weekend. We have a family cottage, which is a summer holiday spot I've been going to since I was born. My grandparents bought it in 1949, and my mother grew up there as well. We all love going. My grandparents are buried there, and last summer we buried my husband there as well.
This past Saturday we were discussing going up to the cottage to clean up after the winter, just for the day. I was so resistant in my mind to doing this, and I really didn't know why. I was positively obstructive. Then, as I drove by the graveyard where my husband and grandparents are buried, I felt the emotion rise and the tears well up.
It wasn't until the next day, while talking to a friend, that the dust settled and the air cleared. I realized that my resistance was my connection of loss with a place I have always loved and where I have always been happy. The loss of loved ones has built up and now the joy of being there is lessened by my awareness that they aren't there.
Clearing the clutter helped me to see what I needed to see. I need to work on this more, and to establish good memories at the cottage once again. I also need to continue to find places where clutter needs to be removed.
I have no real insight - at least not yet. But I will let you know when God shows me more.
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