A while ago, I attended a conference and it was so deeply nourishing, I filled pages in my journal. I just pulled it out and looked at all the things God spoke to me. There are some real "WOW!" moments I thought might be a blessing to share (even as my daughter is hanging over me while I type this because she wants to play a computer game...)You are not a cup to be emptied or a bowl to be drained, but a hose.
A hose is always connected to the water source
It never stagnates; the water is always fresh.
The water flows through; it doesn't come from the hose.
Dirt and other stuff is cleansed away as the water gushes through. Things are dislodged or dissolved in the flow.
There is force and pressure in the water coming out of the hose. A hose can be directed at something or allowed to run and let the water soak in.
Hoses can still drip, even when the water source is turned off.
A hose is always full. If it empties, it must be primed; if it freezes, it will burst.
A nozzle can be used to make the water flow more strategic, more powerful more effective.
However, you do carry your husband's anointing in bowls to break and share, to pour out into the lives of others. You are not expected to BE who your husband was, but you carry his memory more deeply than any other and you hold his spiritual inheritance which was not fully formed or ready to be shared. Bear it in bowls to sprinkle into the lives I show you. Bear it in bowls to pour into the lives of your children.
Exodus 25:29 pitchers and bowls are used for the pouring out of offerings
Often I have felt called upon by circumstances to pour myself out, to compensate for others, or take responsibility for them. I have felt burned out at church, at home, at work.
One of the speakers at the conference explained how the orphan spirit can push us to these behaviours: feeling beat up, empty and needing stuff/approval to provide the sense of worth.
I looked up orphans in the Bible, and it refers to children without a father. So then I began to reflect on my household of fatherless girls, including me. Here's what God gave me on that. There's also a great insight on adoption.
There are no orphans in your house. The love of the Father still fills your home. You are not an orphan unless you choose to be.
I have adopted you. You have adopted your daughter, but I have also adopted her to make a straight path. The boulders have already been removed. Adoption is prophetic. Do not fall in the holes left by the boulders. At times, boulders feel like a strange sort of security because they are familiar. You can allow me to smooth out the rough places and enlarge the places that are too small (Isaiah 54:2-3 ).
The orphan spirit makes the heart hard, but hardness will not be removed through striving or harshness. Move in the opposite spirit: generosity, firmness, love, security and steadfastness. In time you will see the change in your hearts.
Your work is to throw off that which hangs in the pit of your stomach, holding you back, weighing you down and stealing your grace. There is no reason why you should carry it. When boulders are thrown at you, just get out of the way. It never works to try and catch the mess and throw it back. However, you do need a constructive way to get out of the way that still leaves you with the power in the situation (with the children). Look to Me for that strategy. For now, allow worship in your heart. I love you. Love me back.
Know that a Father will always provide for His children. Perhaps you don't see how I have provided in a circumstance. Know that I AM completely faithful to you, and will not leave you.
I found that encouraging, also challenging. May it be a blessing to you today as well.
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