I'm sure there have been millions of blogs about giving and receiving. Ann VosKamp, for sure, has written about this in her very descriptive, poetic way of writing (see http://www.aholyexperience.com/) .
Galatians 6 covers it all:
v2: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
v10: "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
I have received in a way, since March, that has humbled me, overwhelmed me and comforted me in a way I could never have imagined. People provided meals for us every day for the first month, two or three times per week for the second month. I still have some things in my freezer now, almost four months after my husband's death.
I've had armies of people come over and look after so many things: installing extra locks on the doors, electrical outlets, replacing the dryer vent, the garage door opener, taking down my Christmas lights (which were still hanging on the edge of the roof in June), cleaning my eavestrough, mowing my lawn. People have taken the children out for a day or an evening and given me a little space. And a few people have committed to be there for me - one friend calls me every week and, as her husband died suddenly a few years ago, she is also an example to me of a Godly woman in grief.
I have been overwhelmed with gratitude, and there is no way I can thank these people enough.
At the same time there is a little feeling of guilt (these people have families and homes of their own that undoubtedly need as much attention as my place), or a little unwillingness to ask because everyone is so busy...
I've been reading Don Piper's book 90 Minutes in Heaven and he talks about this. Lying in a hospital bed, struggling with depression and intense physical pain, he was surrounded by praying people who were constantly lifting him up before the Lord. One of his friends pointed out to Don, that by saying he didn't need anything when others wanted to help, he was denying them the ministry God had for them.
So, next time someone asked if he needed anything, he said "yes" and he saw the joy and willingness on the face of the person who helped.
If I think back to times when I've helped people - preparing meals or taking out the garbage or making a card to encourage someone - it is a blessing to me to know I've made a difference. It IS more blessed to give than receive.
A friend of ours had cancer a few years ago (she's fine now), and my husband and I would call every Sunday afternoon to see if we could come over to take out her garbage. At the same time, I would bring her over a supply of meals for the week. Some weeks she would tell us that she had already taken out her garbage and recycling. She took an hour, she dragged it a little way, sat down, rested and then dragged it a little more! I remember feeling exasperated with her. She knew we would come right over and do it, and we usually called some time in the afternoon. Why couldn't she wait? Why was she so insistent on pushing herself so hard?
On one hand, I understand the need to be independent, to be able to do for yourself. On the other, it didn't make sense to me to push so hard if it was easy for someone else to do it and we were more than willing.
So, now, the shoe is on the other foot. I am immeasurably grateful, but I am also very humbled. And that process, of letting go of my strength to become as weak as an infant, to lose the normalcy that I had, is hard. But clearly, it is necessary.
A couple of days ago, God spoke to me about this area.
The help, the support from others is an act of worship, an offering to God. It is also a sign of the high regard in which my husband and I were held (and I still am). The character that God placed in us, the grace that God flowed through us to others was apparent, even in suffering, struggles and imperfection. God has provided these people for me, and through their service and love, my children will see the true salvation of the Lord.
Galatians 6 covers it all:
v2: "Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
v10: "Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers."
I have received in a way, since March, that has humbled me, overwhelmed me and comforted me in a way I could never have imagined. People provided meals for us every day for the first month, two or three times per week for the second month. I still have some things in my freezer now, almost four months after my husband's death.
I've had armies of people come over and look after so many things: installing extra locks on the doors, electrical outlets, replacing the dryer vent, the garage door opener, taking down my Christmas lights (which were still hanging on the edge of the roof in June), cleaning my eavestrough, mowing my lawn. People have taken the children out for a day or an evening and given me a little space. And a few people have committed to be there for me - one friend calls me every week and, as her husband died suddenly a few years ago, she is also an example to me of a Godly woman in grief.
I have been overwhelmed with gratitude, and there is no way I can thank these people enough.
At the same time there is a little feeling of guilt (these people have families and homes of their own that undoubtedly need as much attention as my place), or a little unwillingness to ask because everyone is so busy...
I've been reading Don Piper's book 90 Minutes in Heaven and he talks about this. Lying in a hospital bed, struggling with depression and intense physical pain, he was surrounded by praying people who were constantly lifting him up before the Lord. One of his friends pointed out to Don, that by saying he didn't need anything when others wanted to help, he was denying them the ministry God had for them.
So, next time someone asked if he needed anything, he said "yes" and he saw the joy and willingness on the face of the person who helped.
If I think back to times when I've helped people - preparing meals or taking out the garbage or making a card to encourage someone - it is a blessing to me to know I've made a difference. It IS more blessed to give than receive.
A friend of ours had cancer a few years ago (she's fine now), and my husband and I would call every Sunday afternoon to see if we could come over to take out her garbage. At the same time, I would bring her over a supply of meals for the week. Some weeks she would tell us that she had already taken out her garbage and recycling. She took an hour, she dragged it a little way, sat down, rested and then dragged it a little more! I remember feeling exasperated with her. She knew we would come right over and do it, and we usually called some time in the afternoon. Why couldn't she wait? Why was she so insistent on pushing herself so hard?
On one hand, I understand the need to be independent, to be able to do for yourself. On the other, it didn't make sense to me to push so hard if it was easy for someone else to do it and we were more than willing.
So, now, the shoe is on the other foot. I am immeasurably grateful, but I am also very humbled. And that process, of letting go of my strength to become as weak as an infant, to lose the normalcy that I had, is hard. But clearly, it is necessary.
A couple of days ago, God spoke to me about this area.
The help, the support from others is an act of worship, an offering to God. It is also a sign of the high regard in which my husband and I were held (and I still am). The character that God placed in us, the grace that God flowed through us to others was apparent, even in suffering, struggles and imperfection. God has provided these people for me, and through their service and love, my children will see the true salvation of the Lord.
You are truly blessed!
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