I had to reach the point where, whatever the result was, I could move forward. And, let's face it, it's so much easier to talk philosophically (or spiritually) about how I could have accepted another disappointment when I'm on the side of success. It's been a long haul to get here - and that's just from a career perspective. This breakthrough has been years in the making, but it is only a portion of my whole life, and only a small breakthrough compared to some of the areas God wants to move in my life. This is not to say that this breakthrough is not significant (because it really is), but more to say that this is the start of many larger things.
I have to admit that there were times I was declaring something aloud in faith, and my mind was quietly whispering "keep perspective, don't set your hopes on getting that job, you could still be knocked out of the competition by someone else". I took those thoughts captive with the truth. God is the Alpha and Omega, He knows the end from the beginning. He also knew the outcome and was putting provision in place (those words from Graham Cooke kept me going as I spoke them aloud). I knew that I needed to speak them out.
I had a tough second interview and did not feel good as I walked out of the room. It was a couple more days before I heard any further, and it was getting agonizing. People were asking me if I'd heard, and it was harder not to speak out negativity or get embroiled in speculation. Frankly, I was tired.
Then the phone rang, and it was my boss. As I walked over to her office, my heart was pounding in my chest. But I have to tell you, nothing prepared me for her message. Even she said I was going to be shocked. THEY OFFERED ME TWO JOBS. In other words, I was the top candidate in both the interviews I attended. I was even chosen over someone who had been doing the job for the past year. I've been waiting for one of these jobs to come up for years and now it's mine. This is after I've had countless interviews where I've been passed over for someone else even when I was better qualified. I felt like God was smiling - after all, He has promised a double portion returned for everything I've lost.
When I woke up that morning, I had a mental picture of myself walking around the building to thank God for His provision of this job. So that's exactly what I did, with a huge smile on my face, straight out into the sunshine. It was truly an amazing moment. All I could hear in my mind was "This is a moment to celebrate you." The Lord's favour to be proud of myself and celebrate my own accomplishment was a special gift to me. And yes, I chose one of the jobs. It was a no-brainer which one I'd go for, but nice to have the double portion!
A few days after I wrote the last blog post, a friend gave a testimony in church. She has been out of work for a while, yet God has provided for her throughout. She is normally a quiet, shy sort of person. But her testimony was powerful and confident. She truly spoke from her heart, and then we had the opportunity to come forward and have her pray over us. She definitely gave me an impartation then, because I was able to stay in faith and speak out truth for the three weeks I have been waiting.
This breakthrough is just the start, and I know it. It's time to step out and embrace the new. I knew this was expected of me in January, and now it is coming to me. All I can say is "Yes, Lord!". Perfect love casts all fear out of my life.
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